Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
