Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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