im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
