if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We smell like vodka and hangover
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