Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
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You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
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Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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