I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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