Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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