puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
