I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
