Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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