Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
