Your face is a jimmy john
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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