dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Sext me about skeletons
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
