i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
