I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
