So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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