I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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