It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
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my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
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I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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