Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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