I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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