Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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