There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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