Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
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being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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