I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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