you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
operation have a gay friend backfired
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
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I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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