So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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