do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
