I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
