well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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