I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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