maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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