There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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