you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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