Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
You ruined the universe
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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