Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
