It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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