The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
