And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Green mimosas i think yes
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
