You're so nebulous sometimes
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Randomize
