I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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