I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Two words: nipple clamps
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