Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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