i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
