I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
