carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize