I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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