I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize