your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
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He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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