I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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