yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
