i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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