Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
pop tarts are not kleenex
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
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