tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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