No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
