Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize