Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
