I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
