just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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